day 20

yesterday I wrote out most of my thank you notes.  My hand has a cramp in it hopefully it goes away so I can finish them tomorrow.  

The guy that hit Joe was in court on Wednesday and the next hearing is set for August 18th and I'm planning on attending that hearing.  

I'm also planing on hitting the gym today (Friday) as strange as it sounds the couple times I attended my classes after the accident I felt really good.  Except now I can't help but think Joe is watching my do the classes and laughing at me.  

Have a good weekend everyone. We were suppose to go to Vegas this weekend but I'm not driving across the desert by myself and flights were expensive.  Hope you are having a good 40th b-day weekend Jilaine. 

day 19

Home sweet home for now any way. I'm typing this Wednesday to post Thursday but I can tell you I can't wait to sleep in my own bed.    

My flight home was rather interesting on Wednesday.  You know that saying "the universe is works in strange ways" or something like that.  Well I was sitting next to a  lady that had a bunch of paper work that was all air plane manufacturing warranty stuff.  I asked her if she was in manufacturing and then we chatted about what she did then I said my husband use to work in the say field.  Then it lead to me telling a strange what just happened in my life,  trying not to get emotional about it.  

Here is the universe part...her first husband died of cancer when she was 21 her second husband died when she was 48 she is on her third husband.  What are the chances of sitting next to someone that has lost two of her husbands.  The second husband was a bike rider too and we chatted about all the bike and equipment they have.  Then I asked her if she was at the Paris airshow this last June, and she was.  So I'm sure that at some point her and Joe crossed paths. She was very helpful in telling what she went though, what other documents I need to sell the possessions that are in Joe's name and we discussed probate attorneys.  I guess even if you have a will you need a trust too.  Mark that down on your list or else your loved ones will need to get an attorney to do a trust. 

She also mentioned what happened to her friends after a couple month went by...some where upset by the choices she was making and stopped talking to her others didn't invite her placed because it was all couple going and she wasn't a couple anymore.  She finally just moved to a new town (from colorado to california) and started over.  

I know most of you think I'm strong and can't believe I'm blogging but here is an example that I'm not all together.  

After I got my luggage I ran out to catch the bus to Van Nuys where my friend was meeting me, as I was getting on the bus I realized I forgot my other suitcase in the terminal.  Of course it was the small carry-on one not the huge one.  I ran back in with my huge suitcase, my purse and a dog.  Thank God it was still there where I left it.  It only contained all my legal paper work, the cards from the service and my wedding ring...I would have been really in shock if i lost all that.  

I got back to the bus and the driver was starting to leave and I must have looked really upset or scared cause he stopped and let me on.  

 

day 18

Let's just say tuesday was filled with phone calls. I talked to so many lawyers, but the one that surprised me was I got a call from the DA that is in charge of Joe's case in LA. He said that on Wednesday he (marco valencia) will be arraned (spelling). Then he asked if I will be there, no because I'm flying back to LA. I guess he is pleading not gulity and the trial will start in 4-6 months. That is the time I think I would like to be there for one day any way.

I also have an appointment with the social security office in LA next week...but again we get screwed because we don't have any kids. I think I have to wait till I'm retirement age to collect his social security.

I did have a very quick chat with Joe at the cemetery...it was quick cause I think he is moved over in plot 4 not 5 but I didn't have a tape measure to check it out. Lakewood say's he is in the right spot but I'm not sure. Yeah can I have any more problems???

So as you are reading this on wednesday I'm either getting ready, getting on or getting off the plane. I also got upgraded again to first class...thank god there is still some little pleasures in my life.

day 17

Just an average day as for stuff to do...Went to the bank to check to see what was in our safe deposit box. I did forget we had the title to the Harely Davidson in there though. Then I put all the cash and checks for Joe's memorial in the bank and explained to the man that my name is differnt than some of the checks that I have and had my marriage certificate to show why they made some of the check out they way they did...his response "oh did you just get married" to which I replyed "no he just died".

I also wanted to get some stamps before I went back to LA but the selection they had at the post office in Edina was terrible, I guess I will just spend a hour or two waiting in line to get some good ones in LA. Remeber to check out the stamps when I send your thank you's to see what I picked.

My lawyer also went to court to get me appointed exc. of Joe's estates. Note to everyone make a will today.

Before I went to my doctors appointment I took a call from Joe's mom...I should have just let it go to voice mail. for the most part I can handle my husband dying but I can't handle talking to her right now. The sad thing is that I really regreat now not following up on finding his birth parents. It is sad that he thought of my parents more as his parents than his then his own.

Sorry if I'm not my cheerful self she really made me bitter today. Wednesday I go home so thursday I should be all better.

Day 14, 15 &16

I would like to thank everyone for attending Joe's service and for all your kind words of support. If i do say so myself it was a good service and recepction afterwards.

After the reception I know some of you went to the bar and I hope you had a good time. I went with all my girlfriends and Parker (my nephew) to see the movie "G Force" in 3D, you know the guinea pig movie. Nothing like guinea pig to make you smile.

Saturday not to much much went on, I went to Joe's parents house to wrap up some business them took Foxy to the vet to get her paper work to fly back to LA. The best part of the day was a huge group lunch of my friends and family before they left to go back home.

Sunday was the first day since the accident that I didn't have a single thing to do when I woke up and I did just that nothing.

Hope you all enoyed you weekend.

I will get photos uploaded when I get back to LA. right now I'm lucky I have my mom's cousins lap top to blog on.

Day 13

Today I got the service finalized and showed my friends the spot that I picked out to bury Joe at. I'm going to get some rest now because tomorrow is the big day.

See some of you tomorrow.

Day 12

I would like to share an email that came through from the bike club. It sounds like some of the guys are having a rough time with this crash. I just ask that you think of them and prayer them too at this time. I know if Joe was still alive and witnessed this he would still be shaken up and I can honestly say I don't know if I would let him ride again for a while. Thanks, Jill


I would just like to insure that everyone understands that we are all hear to help each other get past the horrific crash that recently occurred. You cannot heal by self blame. There was nothing that anyone could do to prevent this accident. An on coming car entered our lane. Those are the facts. There is nothing at the time of the accident that you as a cyclist could have done differently besides not showing up that morning of the ride to prevent it or avoid it. If you need someone to talk to just give me or any other club member a call. We need to heal together isolating yourself or blaming yourself is not the way to get by this tragedy or what I should really say is crime. Survivors guilt can be very debilitating please call.

Day 11

Today is a strange day in many ways.  It was exactly 3 years ago today the Joe, Foxy and I started out on our Belgium adventure.  It is also Belgian National day today too. (July 21) You know I will always have a place in my heart for that crazy little country.  

Again I'm getting on a plane once again but this time I carry my husband in a green velvet bag to bring him back to where this all started.  The good news out of this is I got upgraded to first class, the bad news is I have Foxy and she goes under my seat...I might have to put Joe in the overhead bins.  I'm sure he is going to love that... 

For those who don't know the service will be held at 

Lakewood Cemetery Chapel-Minneapolis, MN

July 24 @ 2:00 pm 

Day 10

Today I  accomplished quite a bit, got my suitcase packed,  almost got the reception after the service complete.  Got the programs ready after some last minute changes. Picked up my dress from the cleaners. Made appointments at the cemetery to pick out the spot to bury Joe and also a meeting to discuss the service with the minister.  Let not forget my last minute doctors appointment before I start paying for it myself. 

I did call the funeral home at 1:30 to see if Joe's ashes where there yet.  Not sure if they forgot to get him back or not but she had to call and see when he would be released then told me he would be ready in an hour and half.  Then I went and picked up my husbands ashes.  He came in an airline approved container which was placed in a pretty green velvet bag.  He also is a lot heavier than I thought he would be.  

Also need to go to the store to get some food for the house sitter.  I really haven't cleaned that much Jaime and the volume is still off on the TV.  

Also Happy Birthday Dad!  

Day 7, 8 & 9

The last couple days have been a blur here is a quick recap.

Friday my dad and brother left to drive one of our cars back to Minneapolis so I have a car there later this week.  I went to my favorite class at the gym and was greeted with lots of hugs and support. (took it easy since I have only been eating liquids)  Then I made a lot of calls to see if I could finalize the service and etc.  Brought Foxy to the vet to get her check up and paper work so she can fly home with me.  She can go to the service now in Minneapolis as long as she is in her carry bag and the attendant doesn't see her.  So everyone has to help hide her.  

Saturday running errands to get photos printed,  making travel arrangements to go to MPLS, picking up and dropping off dry cleaning and finally got the service set. 

Sunday I only left the house to get take-out dinner.  It was a big day for getting lots and lots of things crossed off my list. However getting the program together almost did me in, thanks to Kate for saving the day or the night I should say.  

I also got the obit written and submitted to the paper-I was in shock at how much they cost. 

Sad things I had to cancel:

Weekend in Vegas with Jilaine and Mel on the 31st

I gave away my tickets to Faragot North to a friends daughter and she had a blast! 

Cancelled our wedding anniversary trip to Hawaii 

Monday I pick up Joe's ashes,