day 47

So last night I went to my first grief sharing meeting.  I have avoided it for 6 weeks and finally last week when the lady called me to see if I was going to attend I told her yes.  I really didn't want to go, I was afraid it was full of people just crying and I'm sorry but that is not what I want or need.  

Well I was half right or almost completely right.  I don't think it is for me but I will give it a try again next week.  And there were alot of people crying through the video we watched about Heaven and then afterwards when  people where asking questions. 

  You know all the things you think about when people die and how they it makes you feel better to know some of them...well last night they told us the myths of heaven.  Basically everything I have though about and felt comfort in know is wrong according to the this certain group.  For example there is no marriage in Heaven.  Joe will recognize me but we are no longer married.  You read that right we will not be together he will have a life and recognize me but we are not married.  Well this set off one lady into hysterical crying saying I want my husband to recognize me, and I don't blame her.  Then there was a question about peace at dying...well that same lady said it was terrible to watch her husband take his last breath and the pastor was telling her that is his favorite part of death and now so this poor lady is upset about not being with her husband and feeling guilty that she wasn't experiencing his death as a  beautiful thing.  I think I'm more confused now after group than just thinking Joe is enjoying heaven and I will be with him again some day.  

I also read and had to sign a rules page...some of the rules were you have to have had a death in your life to be there not just there for the sake of it.  I can't remember what movie it was where people  just went to groups to share and took part but really didn't belong there but I laughed at that rule.  The other rule was no dating member in the group.  That one I think I laughed out loud at.